Blonde 123

Two blondes are walking down a road, one has a large sports bag.
First blonde: “What have you got in that bag?”
Second blonde: “Chickens.”
First blonde: “If I can guess how many chickens you’ve got in that bag, can I have one of them?”
Second blonde: “If you can guess how many chickens I’ve got in this bag, you can have BOTH of them!!”
First blonde: Well, I think you’ve got three.”

Male Blonde

Three businessmen were sitting in a bar, drinking and discussing how stupid their wives were:

The first says, “I tell you, my wife is so stupid. Last week she went to the supermarket and bought $300 worth of meat because it was on sale, and we don’t even have a fridge big enough to keep it in!”

The second agrees that she sounds pretty thick, but says his wife is thicker. “Just last week, she went out and spent $17,000 on a new car,” he laments, “and she doesn’t even know how to drive!”

The third, a blonde male, nods sagely and agrees that these two women sound like they both walked through the stupid forest and got hit by every branch. However, he still thinks his wife is dumber.
“Ah, it kills me every time I think of it,” he chuckles.
“My wife left to go on a trip to Greece. I watched her packing her bags and she must have put about 100 condoms in there… …and she doesn’t even have a penis!”

Pain Blonde

A blonde told her doctor that she was really worried because every part of her body hurt.
The doctor looked concerned and said, “Show me where.”
The blonde touched her own arm and screamed, “Ouch!”
Then she touched her leg and screamed, “Ouch!”

A Rabbi, A Hindu and a Lawyer

A Rabbi, a Hindu and a lawyer were driving late at night in the country when their car expired. They set out to find help, and came to a farmhouse. When they knocked at the door, the farmer explained that he had only two beds, and one of the three had to sleep in the barn

English Girl

A woman goes to England to attend a 2-week company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.

The wife answered: “Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?”